Dealing with Pain - Part 4: Forming new mental-emotional qualities that release pain

Louharya | 11.12.2019

In the previous part, we described six mental-emotional qualities that maintain an experience of pain and suffering.

The way to convert these qualities and form new qualities that enable one to let go of the pain begins with a willingness to change perspective.

???? Let’s understand how the willingness to change our perspective helps to change these qualities and convert them into qualities that encourage new mental and emotional habits.

???? Six keys to release the experience of pain:

✅ Agreeing to let go of wallowing in traumas and to heal past residues.

????This process holds a willingness to release trauma that defines and protects the self. In addition, it is also an agreement to change the mental and emotional fixation that stems from the conclusions the individual has made, which are a result of the trauma and provide the basis for his perception of the world. This is a process of healing where the individual is willing to dissolve past residues, adopt a new perception of the world and boldly go out into the world without guise, as a clean slate seeking corrective experiences.

✅ Moving from victimhood to responsibility

???? A willingness to change the mental-emotional conditioning of vulnerability and victimhood, through which the individual controls others and maintains distorted and forced relationships that hold aggressiveness, fear, reluctance, denial, and power struggles. Thus, creating a transition from victimhood to taking responsibility, while honestly observing the self, recognizing that only through trust, vulnerability, flexibility, a positive initiative, and an enlightened heart can one conduct balanced and real relationships that hold reciprocity, mutual benefit, joy, and happiness.

✅ Creating closure

???? An agreement to release grudges through a process that holds forgiveness. This is a process that releases anger, hatred, victimhood, conflict, hostility and even a desire for revenge and restrained rage, in favor of the understanding that in every experience, negative or positive, there is something to learn. This understanding leads to an honest willingness to forgive and release both the self and the other, and establish a mental-emotional experience that holds grace and positivity.

✅ Changing perspective

???? A transition from a state of regret and a sense of missing out and failure, to a forward movement that is based on the understanding that each moment is a gateway and a window of opportunity, and that a broad spectrum of possible life paths are open for each and everyone, waiting for us to make a choice. This is a transition from trying to fix the past, to a state of responsibility that exists in the present moment, holding hope, a connection to personal vision that leads to a new horizon and the understanding that “what we create shall become”.

✅Focusing on the present moment

???? A transition from a nostalgic yearning for what was, wallowing in memories, being stuck, and an unwillingness to change and regenerate, to an initiation of a life path by focusing on all that exist in the present moment and learning to enjoy and be thankful for it, through an honest willingness to go through a process of self-discovery that opens new potentials.

✅ Letting go of attachment in favor of self-discovery, change, and renewal

???? An agreement to release attachment to people, relationships, and achievements that grant an imaginary sense of security and worth, and convert this to a willingness to move on, leave the past behind, and go deeper into a process of self-discovery and renewal, which transforms the pain and sense of suffering into an experience of satisfaction, creativity and the joy of living.

If I summarize things for you, in order to cope with the pain, you need to know how to activate six keys that create a complete and full process that dissolves and heals the pain.

A willingness to release and heal traumas and past residues → moving from victimhood to responsibility → creating closure → changing perspective → focusing on the present moment → letting go of attachment in favor of self-discovery, change, and renewal.

Yours with much love

Link to The first part